26 This Spring

I was sick last night. I lay on the bathroom floor for hours, shaking. Something went wrong in my body and I felt it in every part of me. I could barely keep my eyes open. I was alone. I lay there and cycled through the following: I wish this wasn’t happening, I wish this wasn’t happening, what’s wrong, when is it going to stop, what did I do wrong, why is this happening, I wish this wasn’t happening…

Panic

Content note: this piece contains negative self-talk as well as discussion of panic attacks and mental health issues. I woke up last night to a full blown panic attack. I had fallen asleep with some sad feelings. I was in a bit of a funk but didn’t know exactly why. I had some theories. I decidedContinue reading “Panic”

Online Exhibitionism and Over/Sharing

There’s something thrilling about sharing intimate details about your existence with complete strangers online. I have the option of keeping my personal writing safely tucked away in a journal but like the idea of the world-at-large having access to it. Why is that?

Where Do We Go Now

We are a strange kind of writer, it would seem, compelled to write in strange kinds of ways. If we force ourselves to write more seriously, to pick one form and stick to it, to stay within the confines of a set of rules and regulations, to write what is publishable, to nail down what kind of writer we are, to impose the external on the internal, to steer clear of what feels natural, to pull teeth in the name of what is hard, we kill the joy.